i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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