He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
People in love make me want to vomit
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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