If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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