I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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