Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
