what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
