You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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