Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
