i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
