So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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