I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
