Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize