if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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