NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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