I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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