There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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