Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
