she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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