when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
