I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
