I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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