i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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