I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
