would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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