so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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