I'm going to jail i love you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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