As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize