You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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