I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
