I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
