try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
