Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
