we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
