He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
