Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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