absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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