Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
