You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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