wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
