I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
