I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
