I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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