goodnight i made you a song goodbye
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
