CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
