All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
