i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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