I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need help removing her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have post one night stand depression
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
