if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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