are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish i was in the wii world.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
