mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
