ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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