Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
