Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
