k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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