There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize