Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize