Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
