I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
